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Topic: I need advice as well.

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xoxjessssxox33
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I need advice as well.
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Well, because Evil vented about her problem. I kind of wanted to do the same. I don't know what to do, and I need some advice on this situation.

How would you react if you just got out of a long relationship with someone you loved and still have feelings for and then one of your best friends goes to your ex and texts/talks to them 24/7 and then you find out your best friend actually likes them. Meanwhile they have done this before to one of your other friends and ended up going out with your other friends ex.

Last night, I completely flipped out on her. It hasn't even been a month since we broke up and she's already aiming for him. This is how the conversation went last night over text message:

Me: And how much is that exactly?..

Her: Alot. :/ don't take it offensively or anything but I care about him alot..

Me: I know. I'm not I get it. I'm just saying I'm still in love with him so the amount of worry is unbearable for me. It takes me a long time to get over someone I really care about. :/

Her: Same for me.. I don't know why but I care about him as much as I would for someone I fell in love with. It's driving me insane cause he hasn't texted back still. Erg.

Me: ...you don't like him do you?........

Her: You'd hate me if I said yes...

Me: You do. Of course.

Her: I didn't mean for it to happen it just did. And I knew you'd hate me.

Me: I don't hate you. I just can't believe you. First you did this to Tristyn now me?! And I'm not even over him yet and you know that. Thanks. Thanks alot.

Her: I told you this wasn't on purpose, Jess. -__- Tristyn was different. You know Tristyn has a new boyfriend all the time and she moves on faster then anyone I know. And have you ever thought to think of how he might feel about any of this. That probably kills him more then you realize? I'm only here to comfort him and if you think I'm talking to him and was planning to get with him the whole time you're wrong so don't try to accuse me of anything.

Me: I'm not. And I know how Tristyn is. But you still went out with her ex either way, I'm sorry for flipping out its just if you care about my feelings at all I would really appreciate it if you moved on to someone who's not Andrew...

Her: I'm not moving on to anyone right now. I wanna stay single for a while. To be honest I can do without all this drama.

Me: Good. I'd rather not be in this drama either. But I'm just letting you know. Sorry for flipping out but I'm going now because I have nothing else to say. I'll be getting no sleep tonight once again.

And that's how it ended...The thing that really bothers me is that she just broke up with her boyfriend. And he still has feelings for her and she doesn't even care. She said the same exact thing to Tristyn that she "wanted to be single and wouldn't go after him". But of course she did, and Tristyn was heart broken. Even if Tristyn moves on fast, it doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings.

Do you think I overreacted? Help. :/



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xianaxisolationx
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Sigh people like that make me want to kick small children...well
it sound to me like she's been sweating him for awhile possibly
waiting for this so she could do it and have you be as mad as if you were still with him..She’s doing it know obviously because she thinks you have no power over him anymore...He’s no longer yours in a sense and now she wants the territory...But if he still cares for you he won't be sucked in to her so easily..Unless of course he's the one hurting he could be dragged into her for comfort...I don't think you overreacted Jess you didn't even get to mean your friend seems as if she craves attention just like Evils



-- Edited by xianaxisolationx on Wednesday 14th of July 2010 11:12:06 AM

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xoxjessssxox33
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Well, that's the thing... I'm the one who ended it. But I had my reasons. We both still loved eachother when I did it. But it hurt him more then it hurt me. And sometimes I think to myself if I really did do the right thing. But if I know him well, I don't think he would go straight to her. No, he's not over me yet. And plus, back when we were dating he used to talk about how much of a bitch he thought she was. Which is ironic because now they're practically best friends. It just bothers me so much that she has the nerve to do this to another one of her best friends.

-- Edited by xoxjessssxox33 on Wednesday 14th of July 2010 11:14:26 AM

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xianaxisolationx
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Gahhh I don't know Jess....It seem's almost complicated like he's being two faced about her which could be a bad thing he could be lying to you or her I couldn't tell you wo..if he's lying to you then he'll probably be sucked in a bit easier especially of he's hurting but if he was lkying to her then possibly he still wants you and he won't go for any new girls anytime soon and your friend with probably get a painful rejection when she trys to push him into another relationship.

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xoxjessssxox33
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The thing is though...we haven't talked since the break up. Well we did but it was just really awkward. I know he needed a friend, and of course she was there to be that friend. I just wish he picked someone else to vent to. Then again, knowing her she probably saw this coming and went to him. I highly doubt he'll go out with her in the state he's in. He's to upset over me still. And I hate myself for hurting him.



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xianaxisolationx
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Then your friend is probably hoping for a relationship but he's just gonna use her as a shoulder to cry on then they won't be able to get out of that friend stage it would be to awkward..thats what i think at least..

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xoxjessssxox33
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Hopefully. Sigh, I hate drama. And I'm always dragged into it.

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xianaxisolationx
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Poor Jess i know what you meann >.

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Evildragon
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Alright, before I try and say my point. Um, what was the reason behind you breaking up with him?

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xoxjessssxox33
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The distance. He moved away, and wasn't exactly coming back.

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Evildragon
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Alright, So. I agree with most that was stated above. Have you told her your reasoning behind the break up? Maybe she could look at your prespective and see that you were trying to make it for the better. Maybe she might rethink and back off a little, trying to wean herself off her crush toward your ex.

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Chela
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idk i mean i think she can be his friend and everything but she really shouldn't go after him or anything. texting someone 24/7 is what i consider going after someone idk about u guys. even if she does feel this way she shouldnt like persue the feelings since your not over him. thats just being a bad friend because if they end up together you'll be sad and friends dont make other friends sad.

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xoxjessssxox33
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That's the thing though, Evil. She knows exactly why I broke up with him. I was venting to her before I actually did it and a bit after.

I agree Chela. It's really annoying though. Because her texting with him is becoming obsessive. She texts him literally every minute of every day she is awake. And the sad thing is, me and him haven't talked since the break up. I want to talk to him, I just don't know what to say. I hurt him to much.

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Evildragon
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Oooh, that's a tricky one. I don't think she should go after him currently and trust me, texting nonstop to said person is definitly a sign that she wants to be with him. I should know...before my I went out with my bf, we did that for a few weeks of nonstop texting.

I think you should try to talk to him, start out small with light small-talk conversations. You might have hurt him, but you can still have another chance to talk/work things out to stay friends unless you want to try having a long distance relationship... It will only be awkward if you guys think/make it awkward.

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xoxjessssxox33
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Oh my god... Tristyn just told me that she heard from Cheyenne (the one who likes my ex) that Andrew said he liked her to... I just died a little inside... how is it he moved on so fast? I feel like I don't even know him anymore...

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Evildragon
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Maybe he's just looking for comfort in someone, something to fill that empty hole. I've know quite a bit of people that do that... And is it for sure that he said that or are they assuming it by the way he talks. Cause, trust me, there can be quite a difference.

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xianaxisolationx
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Poor Jess :(

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xoxjessssxox33
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I don't know. And honestly I don't even care anymore. If you'll excuse me I need some ice cream, a box of tissues and the Titanic.

-- Edited by xoxjessssxox33 on Wednesday 14th of July 2010 06:17:37 PM

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Evildragon
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Aw, I'm really sorry that this had happened. :C

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Munsteh
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I did what your boyfriend did, sadly.

I dated this kid for like, 2 years, then randomly one day he broke up with me, and then randomly my ex started talking to me, and I kinda used him as a way to get over the other guy.

Eventually, after kissing and whatnot, things became awkward, and I discovered I had no feelings for this kid, and kaboom, I ended it.

As much as it may hurt, I really feel like if something does happen with them, it won't last. I made the samr mistake he may make, but he'll come to his senses within 2 weeks if he understands how a relationship should feel.

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dazeebster
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I hate drama. For example, I'm currently seriously depressed because I'm not allowed to text Ben anymore T.T

But yeah, I agree with Evil on this.

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Evildragon
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Sorry for going off on a small tangent, but Why can't you text Ben?

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dazeebster
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Because my dad is retarded and decided to block her from texting me. He thinks I stay up until 3 am with her. FML.

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